12 March 2011


Surrounded by happiness, my lack of internal pax is jarring. As I collapse internally, my external image gets worse and worse. I want to project something better but I don't think myself capable any more. I have no one or nothing to blame, but myself. Certainly with regards me being a bastard as a child. I was terrible - dysfunctional, even. It seems that after 19 years on this good Earth I'm finally paying for what I did as a child to my family. Perhaps I was always paying, it's simply clocked up against me.

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