15 June 2011

74 days left!

Only 74 days until I am definitely out of the country and the summer ends for me. But my life shall continue into Autumn, which will be spent in Finland! Apparently, it is the land of three winters. Autumn winter, high winter and Spring winter. Yay!

I haven't yet received the welcome package for the college I'm going to but they assured me it would arrive at the end of this week or the start of the next. I've been checking my student mail since March in anticipation of something happening. I really want it to happen, but as my best friend Cathy says, I won't believe I'm going there until I step off the plane. I have the option of either a big student hostel where I live with a good few people or apartments with two or three other people. I'd prefer the latter - I'd hate to share my kitchen with 30 other people! As an Erasmus student, I can leave my booking to six weeks prior to the lease, which is better than natives, who must book three months in advance!

I am also trying to get some employment before leaving the country. I would like some money to ease the burden on my parents. I have two options now - I might be working at the Galway Races thanks to a neighbour, which is in early August for two weeks, while in the meantime I'm going to try and get work either in Tribes, Dignity or some cleaning job somewhere. The grand plan is to acquire some work and money here and then try and work in Finland, perhaps in an Irish Bar if they'll take me!

That's the scandal for the moment. I'm up this late because of caffeine and sugar, soon to crash!

11 June 2011

Travelling in the country

Travel is expensive! I'm planning to travel down to Cork next weekend and it will cost loads. 24 euro for student return. I've done this before, around half a year ago and yet it hasn't gotten cheaper. Accommodation will cost 30 euro which is grand considering I'm getting a somewhat up market hostel. The other ones were about half the price for a night. Finally I have to consider expenses for the day, such as food and other bits and bobs.

The last time I travelled down to Cork it was with the Fantasy and Science Fiction Society in the college. It cost around 30 euro for everything, but that was mainly because we were travelling in a group. I was horribly hungover at the start of the weekend, was too sick and fatigued to drink over the weekend and left feeling disenchanted. My previous two Cork adventures were much more entertaining! This next adventure is to get drunk and go out so not too much different from before but with someone very special!

04 June 2011


Imagine being with someone for one summer. You start being together at the start of it and you agree to not go beyond summer as one or both of you will not be in the same place. It is the most wonderful thing ever and yet you both know it cannot last, as you agreed that to would not. You love and trust each other yet you can imagine the eventual strain it all causes and the questions that must be asked. How do you see each other when you are near each other again? Do you try and pick up where you left off or do you make another agreement that will also one day conclude? Do you just remain friends? How exclusive is the relationship? Is it totally exclusive for the agreed period or can it be made more inclusive because you both know it won't last?

Life can be very difficult!

03 June 2011

02 June 2011


It's a tough thing to battle and an even harder thing to justify.

I never felt much jealousy in my life of other people but I often felt jealous of my friends when they got recognition for something exemplary they did when something I did was not acknowledged. Often theirs was the superior work but I still felt a pang of what must have been jealousy. I often made do with what I had, just accepted that other people were better at some things different from myself or I found a way to better myself to their level, with or without their help. Friends were somewhat easier to get over when it came to jealousy. I was more annoyed when they rubbed it in my face too much, or kept poking me until I snapped at them and may have appeared more jealous than I actually was. In any case, I am rarely jealous of my friends at this point. I actively encourage what they do best and enjoy their talents as much as I can.

Jealousy when it comes to a partner of mine is more difficult. They are more likely to be hit on, to get the glance of other people and certainly to be acknowledged more often for what they do. I find other people glancing at my partner to be somewhat flattering, especially in shopping markets and whatnot. I usually tell them that they were being checked out and by whom for our entertainment! Being acknowledged after my partner or being ignored is OK with me - I live my life in the shadow of other people but I am comfortable with this. I am very uncomfortable being the centre of attention but am quite happy to approach people when it suits me. If my partner is talking to someone they know from way back or such I usually defer to them and try and avoid standing their awkwardly but instead smile and agree with what they say when they say it - it looks better for the person they are talking to and perhaps we introduce ourselves.

When my partner gets hit on it can be difficult. I am more comfortable with people I don't know at all or even close friends doing it - I trust my partner with everyone! It is the people I often don't trust. Some I know the character of and can relax while others can contain supreme flirts and the odd chancer. These make me uncomfortable; not because my partner may give in or anything but rather that the chancer will try something and I won't know what to do. It's difficult but I trust that my partner will handle them - I just have to endure a few moments of stress!

As a rule, I cannot be jealous of exes. They are an ex for a reason; no need to fear them until something happens and even then I wouldn't react too strongly, unless it kept going on, in the which case I would have to conclude the relationship. I hate that word, it's something we only really started using since Facebook! Back on topic; the moral high ground will rise beneath you in the case of your partner cheating on you with anyone else; especially an ex! If my partner was constantly talking to their ex and texting and all sorts, I wouldn't be perturbed or I would try very hard not to be. I might confront them about it, but in such a way where they would explain what was really going on and I wouldn't seem suspicious or accusatory.

27 tomorrow, 1 page a day update

I'm 27 tomorrow! I have written 1 page a day at I'm guessing 180 words minimum so maybe 1800+ words in 10+ days? Just jumping arou...