03 October 2014

Missed September: October WWE Roster

The Blacksmith - the 3rd wrestler ever made in 2002 in Smackdown! 2: Know Your Role on the PSX. Jean 'The Blacksmith' Goldsmith suffers from Benjamin Button Disease, being 43 in 2002 and under 40 in Day of Reckoning on the GameCube in the mid-2000's. Blacksmith defended the WWF Championship over 40 times until Chris Jericho stole it off him. He has held the Tag Team Championships a number of times with his brother the Goldsmith. His favourite title was the Hardcore Championship and it was how he made his debut, often wielding a hammer in his matches. Various finishers have been used in the past by him, most notably the Iron Claw/Mandible Claw in his debut and later the Jackhammer. He recently went through developmental training, Superstars and Raw to win the World Heavyweight Championship.

The Goldsmith - Sean 'The Goldsmith' Goldsmith is one of the greatest Intercontinental Champions of all time. His feuds with Eddie Guerrero, Edge and the Undertaker are legendary. He is involved in a long-running lawsuit against Shawn Micheals for the right to use his own music. His finishing moves have included the Golden Chokeslam and the Pot of Gold (KO Punch). King of the Ring 2014.

The Whitesmith - Blacksmith's wife, she occasionally appears to kick ass.

Disciple - an enigma, a high flyer who takes all kinds of risks with his body. He loves Breaking Benjamin, often going to the ring with one of their themes. The Emerald Flowsion is his finisher. He won the 2014 Royal Rumble.

Nulk Wulken - the strongest man in the world, his fists can break bones and his grapples can end careers. A dirty brawler since 2004, he has only just changed his look in 2014.

Sir Killalot - one of the Blacksmith's creations. He is not particularly original, being modelled after Tim Woodman at first. He only wants to love, but was programmed to wrestle in a fake sport.

Killalot V.2 - the more organic successor to Sir Killalot. He is no knight and tore through the roster to win and hold the WWF Championship for several months. Currently marooned in Antarctica for our safety.

Wolf - the first CAW, he never got over this fact and was often 'deleted' for having no other defining characteristics.

The Terrorist - the second CAW, his popularity took a nosedive after being debuted post 9/11

Savage - real name Apoo Nahasapasapetalon, a vicious wrestler who retired early, a bully but a damn strong man

Feaster - not particularly charismatic but very strong and a match for Savage

Big Boy Joe - the largest wrestler ever, he has an unusually tiny head for his size, maybe because as his body grew his head stayed the same, is it a matter of perspective? Teamed with ET they are the fastest tag team ever.

ET - a small alien who has been roped into professional wrestling

Adolf Hitler - the Fuhrer himself returned in 2007 and decided to take on the WWE, occasionally teaming with the Aryan.

Edit Man - the man who showed us all how the moves are performed, a perfectly average and otherwise non-descript guy

Black Attack & White Attack - victims of an oil and sperm bank explosion respectively, they have put that behind them and wrestle for our entertainment!

Harpo the Clown - a legendary wrestler who occasionally appears to troll us all, subject of a 2007 documentary

Blackjaw - Blacksmith's good-for-nothing nephew, rumoured to be dead from massive rectal trauma


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