20 January 2023

Love/Hate #40 Grand Theft Auto San Andreas

Ah shit here we go again.




Nothing like almost dying on the first mission. I played almost the entire game on a keyboard and it was... very difficutl at times. So much so I almost got gunned down by those pesky Ballas within a few seconds of gaining control.





Naturally I have to do every single mission, and one of the most difficult missions at the start is this one for Ryder. If you just take your time, it's half the job. Getting those boxes into a truck any way you can. Once you figure out how to drive with a keyboard you can keep it tight and limit any wasted movement. Ryder was killed the first time so I had to do it a second time, taking care to hop out of the forklift once or twice and stand by the main door and gun down the enemies.



These missions are just insane. I was relieved to have driving controls taken off me and I could use mouse to control the shooting.







THIS was the first mission I suffered a total block. I was not able to do this properly. Apparently there is some sort of glitch or delay associated with the little yellow circle anyway. I tried to plug in the controller finally and it did not really sort the problem. By the skin of my teef I was able to master the 'delay' associated with the yellow circle calling for a button input and just about win. Look at the piece of shit car all banged up from getting there!


Racing I could handle. I did not lose a single race, it's too easy to get ahead, way ahead of other drivers and just dominated, even handicapped by a keyboard. That or I was getting better.



Absolutely crucial to starting some gang wars is getting the proper equipment. I usually equip SMGs so I can ride a bike or bicycle, an assault rifle for ranged killing and some grenades for crowd control. Armour is essential.





God I love the gang wars. Could be difficult to get them to start but entering rival turf and shooting up some multiple of gang members gets them started. The toughest ones were the tiny ones; big territories are easy like the one above, so many exploitable terrains the AI can't handle. Also the move in weird fixed formations so its easy to gun them down in droves/lines and later, when I figured it out, throw a grenade the correct way. Trick is to hold down the button!




I did not do much property buying this run; this is not a 100% completion run by any means. Handy to have some strategic save points scattered across the map though.


I sometimes recruited a few meatshields fellow Grove Street men to my side but they are generally useless.




Goddamn pigs.


Actually the only time fellow gang members are useful is if you are being attacked, the enemy do a weird formation of two cars blocking the road and its easy enough to recruit nearby GS members and take out the invaders.


Ah, my main source of income - killing drug dealers!


I attempted a few dates with the first girlfriend but couldn't be arsed. There are enough things to keep track of. I did not bother getting the cop gf or nurse gf later, I was doing good by then.





Thats how it's done! Toss the grenade just right and you can wipe out most if not all of a wave of baddies.


It can be pretty freaky taking on the horde by yourself.



This is one such tight territory. A bridge and the section under thr bridge. I could camp at the top of the stairs connecting the two and wait for the AI to approach, but be careful as if they have the higher ground it can be more dangerous for you...


Almost completed!



LOL at the broken Respect meter. Got all the respect in the world.



Back to the story. Its time to attack the enemy fortress.


I'm so glad these ladies restore your health.


This was pretty insane but again, mouse control of shit like this was WAY easier at this point than actually having to drive.


A pretty iconic moment, I think.





Sad moment! It was a trap and now you have to live in the sticks...


My respect!!!


Time to buy property in the countryside I guess.





Good gods the Catalina missions. I read online you could wipe out Derek and his buddy there at the very start of the petrol station heist so that made driving the tanker much easier. You don't have them shooting you the whole time. I jackknifed the truck a few times but without pursuit its so easy, take your time.




Fucking around in the country. I love bikes normally but they were a bit tricky to manage with the keyboard, which is too precise; with the bike you really want the control stick to weave a bit.




Time for some Truth missions. Also, a whole load of pain at times.



This was easy enough to steal but tough to drive around. Again, the precision of the keyboard makes you drive in fixed lines a bit more and this probably saves you from a myriad of mistakes possible on a control stick.




Now that's how you woo a woman!



Ah the insanity. This was quite tough to manage as they slowly drop their hands as you point your gun at them.


More racing? Easy.



I don't know what the other cars do be up to but a few corners cut and you can outpace them completely.



I need to play that GTA, I have it in my library I'll give it a go eventually.


Whatever Catalina, I beat you and your new man by miles!


Fucking flamethrowers. It was aactually quite hard to get the drugs to burn; I ran out of fuel on the first attempt. Again, the stick versus keyboard issue.


I love that there are a few of these in GTA1 and they are excruciatingly slow to drive as well.


I can't see shit with my windscreen like that. Actually, the cracks are on the passenger side of this American car so all good. Ish.


One of the most infamous missions, two of them, are here. I did them both! With a keyboard and mouse! Mostly.



Are you on drugs, Zero?


Damn you Berkley!




Thank the gods these planes are in fixed formations. Just move to the correct view, keep the gatling gun in one position and focus on firing. They all fly into your shot.



Infamous mission the first. I somehow, SOMEHOW managed to do this with a keyboard only. It took about three proper attempts.


The four transports you need to destroy start near you but spread out fast. Its possible to get 2 fairly quick, 1 almost immediately, but by that point the other 2 have diverged pretty fast across the city. As above, I had one left and ran out of fuel. Ouch.


Thankfully the bulk of the mission is flying in somewhat straight lines;. keep button for acceleration down the whole time but when speed is sufficient, you can glide! So let go and just hover along. This is how you save fuel. 


Two targets to go and that little fuel? This can only end well...


What they don't tell you I believe is you need to kill all targets then fly back to the roof safely. So on second major attempt I killed them all and had exaclty 0 left in tank. I tried to get there anyway to no avail.


Huzzah! All targets dead and over half a tank left. I managed a system where I would fly neatly to the target, land near them or ahead of them and then gun them down - the aim is automatic I believe so just holding fire does the job. Then it was matter of taking off from the ground again and flying to next target. Gliding as much as possible. Repeat.


So close. There was a button I pressed that would make the plane blow up randomly and fail, also if it tipped over upside down on ground it would explode too. So I probably did the mission closer to 5-10 times.


It's done. Infamous mission #1. Well, for some people it's just the next one.


The model army fight. It's notorious if you have ever heard of San Andreas or played it but it was actually fine, again on keyboard.


I did have to replay it a couple of times but once you manage all the moving parts its fine. Time becomes the toughest factor. Again, tight controls back to base, pick up metal bridges for the Bandit to cross, then back to base for barrels to drop on the tanks shooting at the Bandit, repeat. If you fly really close to the ground and drop the barrels right next to the tanks you can kill them handy enough. Also, you can lose your helicoper and respawn so that's handy.


For some reason, Berkley just gave up and piled barrels here.


So victory was ours!


I got Zero's shop! I would never return.






This was a fun mission. Impersonate a valet and incriminate the target. Watch as he gets arrested.






Some of these missions were DARK. You have to trap a guy in the portapotty, knock it into this hole and fill it with cement. Bleak. And as you can see the cops were there too and just watched it all happen.



Driving school was rough. I did just enough to keep the story going. I usually finish the whole thing if possible on the PS2 but left it for the PC.


Teehee.



Ah we will have fun trying to take all three of these guys out.


The Jizzy missions were quite difficult. Having to keep a car intact? Yikes.


Good gods stealth missions. Actually fine if you take your time but struggled here.


Love me some fixed controls. I normally absolutely despise them on a controller but with the keyboard they were a relief.



Of course, that doesn't last forever as you have to land and rescue the captives.

 
Hurray!



Melee combat is normally easy on the console. With the keyboard, it was often death. Thankfully I managed to kill the old snake.






This was surprisingly difficult. Not least because I insisted on stalking him on a motorcycle.


My stupid outfit change.




2/3 of the baddies dealt with.


Oof. Idk what happened here. A helicopter crash.


The snipers are not too difficult to use if you keep it on a fixed x axis, don't try anything fancy.


I could fly helicopters and toy planes easily enough.



1992! 4 wheeled drive is tough.




Managed to clear this particular mission easy enough...



Mike Toreno is a friend after all!



The best helicopter. So tough it can withstand a few missile hits and the handy autocannon underneath it wipes out enemies from a great height.





This is the beginning of the difficulty.


The first mission or two of flight school were fine. But then things got awkward...


Thank you, thank you.




Once they introduced elaborate turns and rolls, I could no longer manage. So I plugged in the Xbox controller I have after much trial and error and managed to use the buffers and shoulder buttons to turn properly. I could use the keyboard fine with basic flight but to bank properly into the coronas it was impossible to get it just right. That or I'd get one then go wildly off course. Fine in a tiny toy plane, not so good in a real one.


I finally passed it, note the Joy2 Joy 4 etc, meaning I had the controller in.


Bank left? Little did I know.


I managed to figure it out eventually and on all later flight missions (quite a few) I would plug in the controller mid-flight and manage from there.


I could fly helicopters just fine so long as I could tip it forward, either on keyboard or controller.


Good times with a parachute!





This was surprisingly hard to get right but I got there eventually. You have to pass the whole flight school to continue the main story.





THIS was tough. Thankfully I figured out you can just bomb down the long straight avenues and boulevards and swerve to get there. But again, DARK.


Oh god the flight missions.



Stay below radar? Easy.


One of the best missions. I couldn't get aboard the plane at first despite multiple attempts but I eventually managed to get the speed right.


And KABOOM.


Stealing the jetpack from the military base. I did not use it as much as I normally do.



Though it is handy for collectables. I was not pursuing them, however.


This is my progress after unlocking the whole island, for example.


Minigun in the chest.



I wanted higher gun skills so hit up the shooting range. Good for getting the skills up quickly.



Catch!







This took a few attempts. Poor guy splatted once or twice. 



A corona mid mission? Good gods.


At least you get to fly the lovely Shamal after all that.



This was ridiculous. He does eventually get stuck in a loop in a particular hick town so its possible to gun him down there. But the chase was totally rigged initially.






Launching an assault on Mad Dog's mansion.


The Hydra, my fave plane, was even harder to fly at times. Having two modes, landing/stall and flight'll do that to you.


Yay, Sweet is free!



Good gods, stay away from drugs, kids.


Free Big Bear.


These are fucking hideous to drive.


The amount of vehicles you have to master in this game...




Back to taking over Los Santos!



Final mission time...













Bastard! Jesus he could take a lot of Ak bullets to the head before dying.




That's Big Smoke done for, now time for Tenpenny...


I would die in the fire. I read online you can gain Fire Immunity by doing all the fire fighting missions, which were fairly easy apparently so for the first time I would do all of them.



One of the girlfriends I happened to stumble across. I did not bother pursuing her as above. Onto the firefighting:







They were actually grand and really easy to manage!


It works!


OK back to fighting Tenpenny...



Why are you running Carl, you are immune to fire!


The final chase is suitably dogshit insane.


Thankfully your brother gets back in the damn car.



Finito! Fittingly, right where it all started, in the hood.



Thank you, Truth.







The end!


Aw, good for you, Mad Dog.


Fin. I had not played it in maybe 10 years or more so was fun to clear it again. I had only finished it once before on the PS2 so was nice to finish it on the PC, even if there are no achievements.

I would occasionally pick it up just to mess with it, usually do a bit of free roaming on the PS2. Or do the classic co-op free roam with someone.

The main barrier was the keyboard but I largely got around that and just adapted. It's not the most difficult game anyway so it was not the end of the world when the flight school came up for example, that blindsided me but I simply plugged in the controller and used both.

New stuff I experienced the most prominent one is the fire immunity, what a great reward for doing all the firefighting missions. I had messed around with the medic and swat mission before but never got the awards, this time on PC I focussed completely on firefighting and it served me well in the final mission. I was fine with people shooting at me but fire everywhere was tough to manage.

All in all, an absolute gem!

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